


A Really, Really, Really Good Time

by Dillian



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Also Hulk doesn't want to hook up with him, Because he doesn't like it when his puny love-toy risks his life, Crack, Did I mention it was Thanksgiving?, Extremely crack, F/M, Gender-bending Loki, M/M, Nothing but friends because she has enough good sense not to hook up with Tony, Pepper and Tony are friends, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 03:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2676638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillian/pseuds/Dillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wanted some Ironfrost for  Thanksgiving, so I wrote some.  That's really all this is about, except <i>I regret nothing</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Really, Really, Really Good Time

“Grab my hand, play this song  
DJ save my life, come on  
Leave your fear, back off the wall  
Free of beat and pussy pop  
If you don't have a pussy  
Pop a cock into a booty  
To a booty.”  
– Macklemore, “And We Danced”

**_The Avengers_ , _Iron Man_ , and _Thor_ , and all situations and characters thereof, belong strictly and solely to Marvel Comics. This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.**

 

In the magical world, where we can all pick and choose exactly what canon we want, and toss the rest away willy-nilly, in dear protection of our OTPs, there lives one Anthony Stark…

Anthony _E._ Stark, to be precise. It’s not important what the E stands for.

…Our Mr. Stark divides his time between his huge and very splendid house on the West Coast, and his almost-as-huge, and way-more-splendid penthouse, at the top of Avengers’ Tower (where he doesn’t stay as much as he used to, because the one appointment he left out, when he was designing and building the place, was enough soundproofing to drown out the Hulk’s snoring, three floors below you). He is single and unattached, except for his A.I. JARVIS, who was of course, designed and built to meet his own specific needs. There is no Pepper here to get in his way, because in this world-as-I-want-it, Pep and Tony have both understood that no one in their right mind would hook up longterm with Tony, and they’ve arranged a nice, amiable separation. Pepper’s very happy with Happy now, and as for Tony? Well, there are plenty of people he can hook up with who _aren’t_ in their right mind, now aren’t there?

…Actually, there aren’t really. Our Tony used to have an arrangement with his friend Dr. Banner, a nice little friends-with-benefits kind of an arrangement. That broke down, because the Other Guy wasn’t crazy about seeing his puny love-toy risk his life every two seconds. …That and the persistent womanizing didn’t help either. Bruce and Tony are strictly platonic now, strictly a _brotherly_ kind of a Science Bros scenario. Tony satisfies his needs, which as we all know are many, the way he is most used to doing, with lots and lots of dates, with all sorts of gorgeous people. And then there is this:

Because Thanksgiving time at Avengers’ Tower can get a little bit lonely. Clint will usually be off fighting one member of his dysfunctional family, or maybe having dinner with another one. Chances are he’ll have taken Natasha with him (she likes to bring vodka, if there’s a potluck), and Sam’ll have taken Steve with him, to dinner at his mom’s house. Thor will be in Asgard, either that or he’ll be with Jane. Used to be, JARVIS would make the effort to prepare a dinner for Tony and Bruce, but that got to seem kind of pointless, after two years’ straight of one or the other of them being so busy with work that he didn’t even notice it was Thanksgiving until past noon on Cyber Monday. These days the A.I. just makes sure there are turkey-and-dressing meals on-hand (Hulk likes the Banquet ones best) and stays out of the way.

And this year, here it is… It’s Thursday, Thanksgiving time! Is the bird defrosted yet? _What_?!? It’s _not_?!? Oh shit, oh fuck, and _how_ many beers has Uncle Ted had so far today? …And Dad’s discussing _what_ with your fiancé???

…Thanksgiving, yeah. To be precise, it’s about 6:00 AM on Thanksgiving morning, but Tony hasn’t noticed yet, he being in Vegas, where a high-stakes crap game and a blonde with a bottle of Dom Perignon have been dividing his attention. And it is at that precise moment…

To be specific here, I mean it’s at the precise moment when the blonde is saying, “You want to come back to my room with me babe?” and Tony’s trying to decide if he wants to go, or take another chance with the redheaded twins at the bar. …That’s when he looks up and sees the most incredibly good-looking piece of dark-haired deliciousness that ever crossed his path.

And in his head he thinks, “Goddamn, that’s the nicest piece of ass I’ve seen since Loki.”

Loki, you understand, will always be The One That Got Away, as far as Tony is concerned. See, when the crazy dark-haired alien showed up that time at the penthouse, Tony actually did think he had a chance of reasoning with him. He could tell Loki was smart, see. Plus also, that was 30-year aged single malt in the decanter, and who can resist that, amirite? It came as a huge shock to our boy when Loki turned him down and tried to kill him instead, and at first he attributed it to being sibling rivalry. Then when he found out what kind of a hold Thanos had over Thor’s brother, that’s when he started to feel really bad. He’s been hoping for another chance with the guy ever since. He figures first they will spend a few days fucking each others’ brains out, then after that they can go whup ass on Thanos together. It will be the relationship made in Heaven. But for now, that lady over there in the green dress, will do just fine.

On the other side of the room, sidling into the room in a way that is equal parts slinky and glamorous, we have…

Well don’t let’s beat around the bush here, who we have on the other side of the room is Loki. In the flesh (the very _female_ flesh). Loki is on the run, having just escaped from Asgardian jail by fooling his (her?) brother into thinking he’s dead. He’s come here, because he figures even if people in Asgard figure out he's alive, this is the _last_ place they'll look for him. After all, he's only challenged his brother twice here, already. 

And he’s down here… He didn’t _know_ Tony would be here, but he’s not sorry. He’s always kind of regretted not giving the mortal a good roll in the Asgardian hay, before throwing him out that window the other time. …Also, it’s a nice chance to make good on that drink.

And s/he sidles over. “Aren’t you Anthony Stark?” he coos, in his most velvety voice, “the genius/billionaire/philanthropist?”

To which Tony responds, “Have we met?”

Soft voice, “Oh, I’m sure I would remember having met _you_.” Equally soft hand, against our hero’s stubbled jawline, and a glance at the two or three empty champagne bottles, and the huge pile of chips at his elbow. “But it looks like you’ve been here a while. You’re probably about to leave, aren’t you?”

“I could buy you a drink first,” Tony says.

And, “Oh, that would be nice,” responds Loki.

They proceed to the bar. There, Loki has several glasses of Midgardian ale (the fancy, girly-looking kind, with little umbrellas in them). He also magics all the alcohol out of the several Tony has (out of concern for whether his mortal thingie will work), and he works his subtle magic.

Sultry voice: “I’m celebrating something right now.”

Tony, in full debonair-mode, replies, “What would that be?”

“Hmm…” Tickly Loki-fingers, in soft, billionaire-hair. “…Call it an escape.” 

“Interesting,” says our Tony.

And, “I wish you’d help me celebrate,” Loki responds.

Tony takes him up to his suite to help.

Loki undresses _very nicely_. The body on that guy? Let’s say the boobs in the latest Dead or Alive game have _nothing_ on him. …Also he is definitely going to bring booty back.

Tony, for his part, is _very appreciative_. He especially likes the way that dark hair falls, across pale, pale, bare shoulders, and the warm, sweet taste of the beautiful stranger’s mouth against his own. They fall across the bed in a frenzy of lust, soon satisfied, and then proceed to satisfy it again and again (and again, and again and again some more), all Thanksgiving Day.

Finally, about 6:00 PM that night, they fall apart. This is not because they don’t still want the hell out of each other, it’s because they’re both really hungry. And it is at that moment, to be accurate, at the moment five minutes’ later, when Tony calls down and Room Service tells him, that he notices what day it is. “Guess what,” he says. “It’s Thanksgiving. You want turkey?”

Loki sees no reason why birds named after countries in the Midgardian Middle East should be eaten on this day in particular, but he _is_ hungry, and there don’t seem to be any roasted boars available. “Sure,” he says. “Why not?”

Room Service brings them the whole deal: The turkey, the dressing, the cranberries, the pie. They do it up right, complete down to a white tablecloth for the bedside table, and one to those cute turkey-shaped foldy-things (these are the perks of being Tony Stark in this town). Mind you, neither Tony nor Loki bother getting dressed for the meal, but believe me, they appreciate the effort. And they tuck in.

“Thanksgiving,” Tony says. “Isn’t that great… What did you say your name was?”

“Appropriate too,” Loki murmurs. “I have much to be thankful for, at the moment.”

Her diction… _His_ diction? …The diction of the beautiful stranger stops Tony dead for a moment. It sounds almost… Asgardian? …But that’s impossible of course, and so he puts it out of his mind.

“It’s great,” he says. “A real Thanksgiving dinner for once, it’s just too bad Bruce isn’t here too.”

Loki breaks cover to say, “That can be arranged.” He waves his hand, magicking Bruce’s appearance, and his own re-male-fication in a single graceful movement, while our hero reacts in shock.

“What!!!” Thus, the billionaire. “ _Loki_?!?”

“Oh come now,” murmurs the Trickster, “do not say you are surprised?”

To which Tony responds, “Not completely. Tell you what, do you want us to help you escape from Thanos?”

To which, “Oh, that won't be necessary,” the Trickster replies, “I've already taken care of that.”

After that, they all proceed to eat dinner, and have mad passionate turkey-sex together (this is the kind where one or more of you has unnaturally large breasts), for the rest of the night, and from then on, they celebrate Thanksgiving together every year.


End file.
